The New Taxi

Meet the new yellow cab. It features state-of-the-art life saving technology, safety lights and sirens for quick traffic negotiation, and a full concierge staff.

The new yellow cab is a free service provided by your friends in local government. The new yellow cab is the transportation method of choice for illegal immigrants.

Call 9-1-1 today for your free ride!!*

* American citizens will be billed in excess of $250 per trip. American citizens trips are restricted to the nearest hospital only. Additional rules and regulations apply.

Illegal immigrants have long been using our emergency services for free medical care for treatment of such things as headaches and common colds. But now, an ever growing group of brash illegal immigrants are stretching this entitlement to absurd levels.

UB recently had the opportunity to meet with members of the Kansas City Fire Department and EMS to discuss the problem of illegal immigration. We heard the usual assortment of stories that are becoming all to common among emergency services employees about illegal immigrants calling 9-1-1 to receive free rides to the hospital. What we didn't expect to hear was accounts of a fairly new practice that is gaining in popularity among the illegal immigrant population.

Illegal immigrants have learned that they can game our emergency services system by calling 9-1-1 and demanding ambulances take them to hospitals far across town. Along the way the illegal immigrant will abruptly demand to be let out at various intersections near destinations that are anything but related to life saving medicine, such as Home Depots, grocery stores, and just about anywhere else they want a free ride to. Because current law prevents emergency medical staff from inquiring about the status of ones citizenship, EMS are incapable of preventing the exploitation of emergency services for personal gain.

One EMT told us they feared patients in real emergency may suffer needlessly or even die as a result of ambulances being unavailable due to unecessary calls from illegals routing them far outside their territories. Local officials were unavailable when we tried to reach them for comment.

This was a production of The Coalition Against Illegal Immigration (CAII). If you would like to participate, please go to the above link to learn more. Afterwards, email the coalition and let us know at what level you would like to participate.